Happy New Year friends.
It’s hard to believe another year is coming to an end, even if we’ll be glad to see it go. I want to thank you for your participation in this book club, and your willingness to be open and real. Vulnerability and truth is how we make connections and how we grow in friendship and community. It’s how we hear, “Me, too” and know we are not alone. Thank you again.
“The fact that we define ourselves by our roles is what keeps the world spinning. It’s also what makes us untethered and afraid. . .Who we are is perpetually being taken from us, so we live in fear instead of peace.” P.303
Um…wow. I’m kinda writing a book about this very concept. A career woman without a career. A wife at odds with her husband. A mom unable to mother, for a period of time, in traditional ways. The depths of despair to which I sank and the work I had to do to climb out of that hole. Sums up my forthcoming memoir pretty darn accurately. In bold capital letters on the book’s flap is: THIS IS HOW YOU FIND YOURSELF. And yes indeed. I think Glennon laid a path that we can follow, in part or in whole, for finding ourselves, or finding pieces that may be elusive. I, for one, plan to return to this book, my dog-eared pages and underlined passages, to remind myself of the work still ahead, the stakes to keep moving forward, to listen to my Knowing, and to become the woman I am meant to be.
I loved that Glennon chose, in the last several vignettes, to keep the messages serious, but to lighten the mood. I chuckled as she shared her guitar lesson story because I have certainly had my fair share of fantasies of being “discovered” and being on stage (only my fantasies have been about acting.) But it sure was a light-hearted way to introduce the idea of having FUN and coming down from martyrdom mountain. Only martyrs appreciate martyrs. I often talk in my art classes about the necessity of giving ourselves permission to have fun, an idea I first read about in The Gifts of Imperfection by Brené Brown. (Another MUST read if you haven’t read it.) How and why did so many of us learn the lesson growing up that fun is verboten? Or, that we can only allow ourselves snippets of fun and joy after taking care of everyone and everything else? I don’t know how, but I’m glad we’re figuring out that message is detrimental to our health and well-being.
I hope the book, our book club, and this community have inspired you to think and have fun. I hope we'll stay inspired in many ways yet to come. In fact, I’d like you to commit, below in the comment section, to 1 idea or act or thing inspired by Untamed that you can do for yourself or embrace in 2021.
I’m not a fan of New Year’s resolutions. I don’t care for the word or the weight of its implications or how we treat ourselves when we fall short or give up on unrealistic goals. What I am a fan of is thinking about 1 (or several) lessons learned/reflections and then creating an intention about how to carry that positivity forward into further learning.
Here’s mine. I have two.
In concessions, Glennon writes about not wanting to be an Expectations Parent.
Intention #1: My daughter is on the precipice of graduating from college. I can think of no better time to talk and keep talking to her about finding joy in her life, the way she wants to and on her own terms. I plan to keep reminding her to learn about her own Knowing and to follow it, regardless of what she thinks anyone else (including her dad and me) will think. Easier said than done, but SO worth it. No one said that to me, ever. I wonder what might be different if they had?
As a huge fan of the vignette "deliveries". . .
Intention #2: I intend to slow down enough, especially around difficult emotions, to dissect what may be my "programmed beliefs," to exame said beliefs, and unpack them. Making positive change requires time, energy, and space. I intend to meditate more regularly and write down thoughts and experiences to help me embrace change.
Oh…and last week I started keeping a written gratitude journal again. Always tops on my “things to do to feel better” list.
Please share one (or more) of yours down in the comments.
Now. We also “talked” about doing a live zoom, so we can connect “face to face” and share meaningful and fun thoughts about all that we read. Is everyone available on Wednesday, January 13 at 7pm? Talking through parts of the material will help us solidify our intentions and carry them forward.
Please RSVP in the comments or to me directly. I’ll set up the zoom and send the link.
Happy New Year!